We all want to be loved … to be happy. So why aren’t we? Because we’ve become experts at sabotaging our own happiness. Feeling like victims when in fact it’s the choices we make, the bad habits, the vices, the inability to show love and compassion. These are things that tear us down. We’re not victims. We’re assassins when it comes to love and happiness.

One Tree Hill

(had no idea what is “One Tree Hill”…googled it, of course… well, tv series :)) …but i think the above quote has some truth in it…)

(via thulelohe)

Source: onlinecounsellingcollege

Money, marriage, kids

“Married people are happier than unmarried people. They are healthier, live longer, have more sex,” and do better on nearly every indicator of happiness

“A little money can buy you a lot of happiness, though a lot of money buys you only a little more happiness.”

“People are happiest when the mind is engaged,” Gilbert said, whether talking, creating, or having sex (another point for marriage).

He displayed a bar graph showing that childless adults are much happier than parents. “Once people have kids, there’s a downturn in happiness,” he said, which isn’t reversed until the kids move out.

“One will always remember that magical, momentary ending,” but forget the uneventful innings before. “That’s just like spending a day with a 5-year old,” he said, when an “I wub you” from the child may validate all the difficult hours.

but…what is happiness? :)

There's More to Life Than Being Happy

a very good read

some excerpts:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing,” Frankl wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, “the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

“It is the very pursuit of happiness,” Frankl knew, “that thwarts happiness.”

Leading a happy life, the psychologists found, is associated with being a “taker” while leading a meaningful life corresponds with being a “giver.”

“Happy people get a lot of joy from receiving benefits from others while people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others,” explained Kathleen Vohs

but in my view, it depends what meaning is put into the concept of happiness… if you ask me about the moments when i felt happy - they can be described as both being a giver and taker. and in fact lately i understand that the reason for me being unhappy is because i feel as i’m not giving enough to others, to the world, even to myself :)) and giving is not as you cut from your own being and then suffer… giving is also a selfish process, you give and you feel good, although maybe not externalizing it. and if you suffer, maybe you indulge in suffering?

but i so agree that attitude is really important

Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.
Osho

“For Happiness, Spend Money On Experiences”

Psychologists say people report feeling happier when they spend their money on experiences rather than objects.

I came across this article/conversation/story/study… For Happiness, Spend Money On Experiences …it is from 2009, but anyway - speaks thruth… at least, I agree.

For example, if I have to choose, I prefer and I am more likely to spend 100 euros on a concert ticket or a 1-2 day trip than on a new pair of shoes. And I am sure that the money spent on concerts (hehe, some tickets here) and travelling are a much better investment in my happiness than the ones spent on clothing or other material goods.